The Two Biggest Traps That Lead to Burnout (And How to Break Free)!
- Amanda
- Apr 9
- 4 min read
Burnout doesn’t just happen because you’re “too busy.” It’s not about your workload, your schedule, or even how much sleep you’re getting (though that definitely helps). Burnout is a slow, insidious beast, creeping in when your mental and emotional reserves are drained dry. And two of the biggest culprits? Perfectionism and people-pleasing.
These toxic patterns may seem harmless and they disguise themselves as good traits—after all, who doesn’t want to be seen as reliable, competent, or caring? But when left unchecked, they are soul-sucking, exhaustion-inducing patterns that will chew up your energy and spit you out. The bottom line is; perfectionism and people-pleasing fuel chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and burnout.
So let’s talk about how these traps work and, more importantly, burnout recovery; how you can break free and feel good enough.
Trap #1: Perfectionism – The Fast Track to Burnout
Perfectionism is like a toxic best friend. A frenemy, if you will. It whispers in your ear that if you just try harder, do more, and never make a mistake, then you’ll fiiinallllly be good enough. It convinces you that rest is for the weak and that your worth is directly tied to your achievements. Didn't you notice Marcy down the street? She isn't struggling like you are. (UGH.) In case you haven’t noticed—perfectionism is a lying liar.
Here’s how it leads to burnout:
You never feel 'done'. No matter how much you accomplish, there’s always something that could be tweaked, improved, or redone.
You waste time obsessing over details that don’t matter. Perfectionists often get stuck in analysis paralysis, overthinking every decision and burning through time and energy. You tweak things that others wouldn't even notice.
You struggle to delegate. Trusting others feels impossible because you think no one can do it as well as you. You keep piling work on yourself until you collapse.
You’re afraid to fail. Mistakes feel catastrophic and like a personal flaw, rather than part of the process, so taking risks feels terrifying —even when they could lead to growth.
You equate rest with "laziness". Slowing down feels unproductive - and like complacency - so you push yourself until you crash.
How to Break Free from Perfectionism
Define “good enough” or "done" before you start. Then stick to it. Not everything needs to be perfectly—some things just need to get done. Learn to recognize when something is done well versus overdone.
Set time limits. If you give yourself unlimited time to complete a task, you’ll find endless ways to refine it. Set deadlines and honour them.
Accept imperfection as part of success. The most successful people fail—a lot. The difference is, they don’t let it stop them.
Delegate and trust others. If you don’t, you’ll always be drowning in work. Let go of the need for control and allow others to step up. Even if they do it exactly as you would. See point #1.
Practice self-compassion. You are not a robot. You are human, which means making mistakes, having limits, and needing rest. Progress over perfection.
Trap #2: People-Pleasing – The Exhaustion Cycle
People-pleasing is the art of putting everyone else’s needs before your own—and then wondering why you’re bitter, resentful, and exhausted. It’s the knee-jerk “yes” when you want to say “no.” All in the name of keeping others happy (while completely neglecting yourself). The more you ignore your own needs, the faster and stronger burnout takes hold.
Here’s how it leads to burnout:
You take on too much. You say yes to everything, even when you want to say no, which means your plate is constantly overflowing. You agree to things out of fear, obligation or guilt, not genuine desire.
You ignore your own needs. The more you focus on making others comfortable, the more disconnected you become from what you need.
You feel responsible for other people’s emotions. You can’t control how others feel, but people-pleasers act as if they can—and it’s exhausting.
You struggle with boundaries. Saying no feels selfish and is anxiety-provoking, so you keep saying yes and overextend yourself until you burn out.
You avoid conflict at all costs. You'd rather suppress your needs than risk upsetting someone else or making them uncomfy. This applies to real or perceived conflict, just FYI.
How to Break Free from People-Pleasing
Recognize that saying “no” is not selfish. Boundaries are necessary for your well-being. You are allowed to protect your time, energy, and mental health. Remember this; disappointing people is not the same as hurting them.
Pause before you say yes. When someone asks for something, don’t automatically agree. Take a breath and ask yourself, Do I actually want to do this? Do I have the capacity?
Get comfortable with discomfort. Disappointing people is uncomfortable, but it won’t kill you. The more you practice saying no, the easier it gets and the more they will be used to it.
Prioritize your needs first. If you always put yourself last, you will always be running on empty. Your needs matter just as much as everyone else’s. But, for real though.
Start small. If saying no feels overwhelming, start with small boundaries—like not answering texts immediately or declining one unnecessary task per week. Build from there.
The Bottom Line
Burnout isn’t just about doing too much—it’s about the why behind it. If you’re stuck in perfectionism or people-pleasing, your burnout isn’t just about external demands; it’s about the internal expectations and fears that are running the show. If perfectionism and people-pleasing are always front and centre, exhaustion will always follow. Not sure if you perfectionism and or people-pleasing are keeping you down? Try this easy-peasy checklist.
Either way, there is good news. You are not trapped. You can change the narrative.
You can unlearn these patterns. You can stop equating your worth with your productivity. You can stop sacrificing yourself for the comfort of others. It starts with awareness, then small changes, then bigger ones. And before you know it? You’ll be living life on your terms—without the crispy edges.
So take a breath, set a boundary, and remind yourself: You are already enough. No perfection required. No approval necessary.
Amanda is a no-BS Registered Psychotherapist who helps chronic people-pleasers and perfectionists break free from burnout, set boundaries that actually stick, and stop running on empty. When she’s not calling out self-sacrificing nonsense, you’ll find her online shopping, ignoring her own bedtime because of a good book, and reminding women everywhere that “good enough” is more than enough. Want more? Follow her at @HammondPsychotherapy
